Enigma

You are your illness. These are words that have haunted me for a few months now. I've always been bubbly, impulsive and I guess somewhat eccentric. That is me. Along with that though, I'm forgetful, zone out, fidget constantly, I'm messy, I cannot go more than 15 minutes without taking a break from anything I do. That is me. Right?

But then all of a sudden a label was placed on me. A disorder. And everything about me that was once simply reduced to a quirk was now a symptom.

I'm scared to be medicated, that all these traits that have defined me all my life will fade away.

Every time I tell someone I have adhd, it stings a little to hear once again, “wow that makes so much sense,” as if this diagnosis was some puzzle piece that finally made me make sense to them.

If i'm being honest i don't even know if i'm making any sense right now.

But yah, I guess it's hard to know where the line is between me and it, and if there is even a line at all?

-Anonymous