Trigger warning: mention of suicide

dying inside....
crying because my emotions ARE Bursting through every corner of me
unwillingly and uncontrollably
i tried to hide them for too long and now its too late
Being diagnosed with bpd type 1 wasnt easy to hear but it helped me to know why i thought the way i did and make the decisions i do, feeling the way i feel, seeing things how i do and how i lived.

trying to cry out but no one hears me because im silent
feeling pain like this is not easy
my dads in jail idk why
my life is falling apart i genuinely feel like dying
maybe i enjoy crying alone idk
Does that mean i'm crazy?
everyone that crosses me i think should never have
because im a ball of trauma
walking without destination
hating it here
trying not to commit suicide
trying to push through
but i am genuinely tired
i think i burden everyone with just being me
so i should just stop existing
ummm jah jah star
For anyone out there
feeling like dying
push through
maybe your future will be bright if you continue
you'll never know if you dont try
im tired my anxiety is causing my body to shake uncontrollably even in the safest and most still position
having a heart problem to think about is shit
will it stop beating on me?
when will i die?
will it be on the surgical table?
if i do my open heart surgery will i survive?
i dont even think i deserve love right now
i feel embarassed to even say things like this because i feel horrible
sigh crying helps but idk if i want to cry anymore.
6ft under
just a thought tho a mere wonder.

-Anonymous