My feelings for her grow
each conversation, each glimpse of her, or even just hearing her conversations on the bus
I am not used to this, she was and will always be my first real crush
But no
I'm not good enough for her.
I'm not pretty enough.
Not mentally stable.
not even social.
just an awkward freak waiting to be recognized,
my anxiety and insecurity team up to make me feel less of a person
my brain and heart are confused
Am I gay? Bi? Straight? no.
I like who I like, I'm sure
but
what about her
you say that you don't want to hurt me,
but I already am.
you say you're leaving soon,
what about the time we have left?
You say I'm not mentally prepared to be with you
but how would you know if you didn't try?
you say I like the idea of you and not you
and that hurt. it hurt so much.
If only you knew the ways how I thought about you
I see more than what you do
you're beautiful
I love your voice, even though you hate it
I love when you hug me
I love when you come up to me and make conversation
but do I love you? yes.
I might be naive but I do.
Until I change my mind that's what I think of you.
But all in all
do you like girls?
aside from all of that, do you think you would like me?
do I like the idea of you?
why do you think so?
why do I not fit your standards,
I'm not mature enough?
but we're both kids?

-Anonymous