An Endless Cycle

"I hate my body"
The one intrusive thought that is keeping me awake and so I spiral. Why do I only feel pretty when I feel skinny? Why can't I just be happy with myself? It is an endless cycle. I eat and I eat and I eat even when I don't want to, I just can't stop despite the fact that I feel disgusting but then there comes a point where it just stops, I just stop. I no longer crave food the thought of it actually starts to sicken me but then it starts again and I just can't control myself. I am constantly self-conscious, constantly comparing myself to others, "I wish my waist was that small" "I wish my hips were that big" "I wish my body would be more like hers" Why do I find it so difficult to be comfortable in my own skin? How do I make it stop? I haven't quite figured that out yet. What I do know is that I gain nothing from being so hard on myself all that comes from it is self-loathing. I just try to take it a day at a time but we all know that is easier said than done. It is not an easy road and sometimes you may feel like you are back to square one or not making any progress at all but all you can do is try. As long as the effort is there as long as you know you are trying, no matter how little the progress may seem any progress is good enough. It is easier some days than others, somedays you can have a full meal other days it is just a bite but what matters is that you are trying, we are trying together. I believe that you can do it so please believe in yourself too.

-Anonymous