Crooked love

Tigger warning: mention of abuse

The narrative we've created has gotten twisted as our once clear cut love has grown crooked.
I look back on 18 years as I examine the result and I ask myself "When did our love grow wild?" "When did I love you become a challenge?" "An argument?" "A question?"
Uncertain
When did it become unsafe?
You say I love you with the same force and passion that you hit me.
I'm left confused again...
A few hours later you apologize, just as my heart chooses to harden.
You reel off your thoughts to me in tears, with so much awareness, guilt and humility.
So....I fall again
This isn't the first time either
But time and time again
I seem to fall deeper and deeper- crookedly in love with you.
And it's not that we've become better.
It's that I’ve become used to the rhythm and cycle we've created,
as our love has grown crooked so have I

-Anonymous