Sometimes I wonder if I do all that I do just for the sake of having a distraction.

The many hobbies I do have, the many things I wish to accomplish, at times, are the same things that cause me distress whenever I attempt to invest valuable time into them

Doing these things, I feel a sense of validation
For a while
But see, the thoughts never cease
My emotions soar through my body like a raging storm
I feel it all and I feel it all so deeply
At times it is incredibly overwhelming and god I wish it would all just stop

I push it away, try to get busy, do something
But It comes right back
Push it down, suppress it, paint a picture
It comes back up again

No matter what I do
No matter what I try
It is as though these feelings are permanent
They never really truly go away

So I will continue to distract myself
Learn another new skill
Pick up another hobby
Visit another place
Try another new thing

Is it that? Is this it? Escapism?

-Anonymous